How to change your life if your New Year Resolutions for 2025 have faltered
If you have managed to stick to your New Year Resolutions, then congratulations!
However, many, many people will have given up their resolutions by the end of January. Additionally, we can become very caught up in the idea of meeting a goal. For some of us, this goal may then simply be seen as something that we’ve ‘done’ and replaced by the next goal – with the questionable belief that this goal will be the one that changes our life. This can be exhausting, and ultimately lead to dissatisfaction.
In my private practice as a Psychotherapist and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, I work a lot with issues around attachment and relationships. Often I find myself talking to clients at this time of year who come to me because of some relationship issue. They may have resolved to end their current relationship, finally work to address what is going wrong in their romantic or family relationships or sign up to a dating site or singles club. After some initial movement, this then falters, and the shame begins because they feel that they’ve failed again.
So how do you change your life in 2025?
What if I told that being very focused can help?
In fact, being so focused that you only use one word that you want your actions this year to be aligned with.
This is your word of 2025.
It may take you some time to think of this word because it needs to consider your current circumstances and how you would like to change those circumstances.
For example, Christmas 2022, I moved into the very welcoming, friendly community I now live in. My word for 2023 could have been RELOCATION, or NEW, but that didn’t align with what I wanted to achieve when I moved. Moving into a new community, I wanted to get to know people, to start to feel part of the community, and to form relationships, rather than merely moving to a new place. So – my word for 2023 became CONNECTION.
This year, I really want to explore and deepen some of the roots I am planting in my community and the wider area, so my word is BUILD. I have another word for my professional career – FORWARD, and, I would encourage you to consider a word for different areas of your life.
How does the word of the year help?
Having a very focused word helps us make changes in our lives in two ways:
- Instead of focusing on giving something up or beginning something new, get into the habit of asking yourself if any given action, thought or behaviour aligns with your word for this year. For example, if you’re dating and your word is COMMITMENT, focusing solely on partners who are attractive, funny and successful may (or may not) be fun, but that may not align with what you say you want. Take some time to contemplate what other qualities or values would they need to possess to align with commitment?
- Telling trusted colleagues, friends and family about your word can really give it some energy and assist you in focusing further.
Important things to consider
Importantly, consider what resistance you encounter to the word you have chosen. Have you chosen this word because you think that you ought to, or because someone else has told you to?
Sometimes we can’t achieve what we want because we don’t have the resources or support we need to. Focusing on our word can bring that into our awareness and allow us to make changes.
Sometimes, we may find that fear or unresolved emotional issues get in our way. If that’s the case, then consider seeking professional help to work with whatever your word has shown you.
Lastly, it’s important to take some time to acknowledge and celebrate the things that you achieved in 2024. These don’t need to be big things, it could be troubles you’ve survived which have helped you grow, or new areas of awareness for you that have led you down a different path.
You may have had a chaotic, difficult year last year so your word for 2025 may be RECHARGE or RELAX.
Whatever you choose, it’s never too late to start to align with your word. So – using one of my words, forward!
What do you think?
With warmth,
Samantha
