Many years ago, events in my life brought about feelings and thoughts which seemed almost impossible to manage. So I sought, and found a really good therapist. This changed my life and, eventually, helped me to decide to follow the path of helping others today.
But I know how hard it can be to contact someone like me. To feel that there is something really wrong with you because you need to do this; to worry that the therapist may judge you, may not understand you or think that you are silly for feeling the way you do.
It’s OK.. I’ve been there.
I am a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist with over 16 years of working with clients. I have a special interest in the areas of attachment and trauma i.e. – how we think, feel and act with others in our romantic, family or work relationships, and how traumatic events can influence this.
Attachment can be affected by trauma we might experience as a child, or trauma that might have happened to members of our family before we were even born. You might have heard the first called developmental trauma, which includes things like a parent dying, parents splitting up, or struggling with their own mental health; neglect or abuse. You might have heard the second called intergenerational or transgenerational trauma. This includes things like a parent or grandparent with PTSD; they may have been abused, or experienced an act of war or displacement.
In essence, trauma is when a parent is either frightened because of something that is happening to them, or frightening to us. As children, we cannot understand this, and adapt in ways that can cause difficulties for us later in life. Therefore, I work with the little child inside you who may be crying out for somebody to attend to them.
I am also interested in trauma and what it does to our body and the way we behave; in women who are in abusive relationships; and in the difficulties we have in establishing and maintaining relationships.
I also have a special interest in grief, loss and change. But grief is not just about death. Grief can occur with the end of a relationship; a loss or change of job or home; children leaving home; or the arrival of a baby.
Or you may be a couple whose relationship is struggling. It may be that even though you talk every day about everyday things; who’s going to do the dishes etc, you never really talk anymore. You can’t remember the last time you went out together like you used to and you feel so alone. Or it may be that one of you has has an affair or is seriously tempted to and the feelings around this are terrible.
All of these, and many other life events can cause a change of identity and status that can bring feelings that are difficult to manage.
In our society, there is a pressure to push our feelings aside – to “get on with it”. Yet, ultimately these feelings will surface elsewhere. I believe strongly that mind, body and spirit are linked – we may become ill because of the ‘dis-ease’ which we feel at the things that have happened to us. We are often conditioned from an early age to neglect what our bodies are telling us.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
These are all things that we may think that we have to live with or that it’s just the way things are.
This is not true.
I can help you if you are willing to take that first step and to continue taking little baby steps. Eventually, you may turn around and see how far you’ve come!
I have worked supporting people in various agencies for several years; from the Probation Service to Social Services, and earlier on in my career worked as a Counsellor for Age Concern, Connexions and Relate.
If you have any questions – any at all (it doesn’t matter how trivial or silly they seem to you), email me or phone me, and we can talk with no obligation on your part.